


Before the Sun Rises

by Macremae



Category: Pacific Rim (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Conflict Resolution, Drift Bond, Drift Side Effects, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Forgiveness, M/M, POV Multiple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-31 00:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13963845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Macremae/pseuds/Macremae
Summary: It's not Newton, it's not him- but they don't know that.Or, some people disregard their self preservation to cope, and that's okay!





	Before the Sun Rises

**Author's Note:**

> based off of this post: http://baking-accident.tumblr.com/post/140636043532/pacific-rim-2-thing-from-me-and-catpresidents and beta-d by the beautiful tropical fish known as kit
> 
> yell with me on tumblr about these losers @bae-science

Newt felt every eye in LOCCENT lock onto him as the massive Kaiju emerged from the Breach. Its gargantuan form crested the fissure and rose out of the glowing depths. Large patches of bioluminescent scales stretched across its body, glowing in the dim ocean light. Its form began to swell, moving swiftly towards the surface and flashing its arms and fins as it cut through the dark water.

The silence in the control room was deafening. Ambient machines and scanners beeped in the background, but every human mouth was agape and silent with horror.

Newt subconsciously reached for Hermann’s hand, but his fingers grasped at air. Hermann was on the other side of the room staring darkly at the screens, his already thin lips pressed tightly together.

“How the hell did this happen?”

Tendo’s quavering voice pierced the silence. He looked around the room, gaze determinedly falling on everyone but Newt. The rest of the team, on the other hand, stared with open suspicion. Their eyes burned into his skin, shrinking it until Newt felt trapped in his body.

“Guys,” he croaked, feeling his hands shake, “that’s not me.” He paused and looked around the room. Nobody would look at him. “Nobody would look at him” instead?

“That’s not me!” Newt said again, far more forcefully. “Why would I- _how_ would I do this? Seriously, can I get somebody in my corner over here?”

Tendo didn’t meet his eyes. “Newt, buddy, I’m sorry, but…” His shoulders slumped as he trailed off.

“I’m not,” snarled a tech as his hands gripped the table. “You’re crazy, Geiszler. You drifted with one of those things. You’re one of them!”

“That’s not how brains work, you jackass!” Newt yelled back, ignoring the grain of truth hidden in his words. His heart was pounding as blind panic flooded his system, face flushing dark red. With embarrassment, Newt felt tears prick at his eyes as his throat tightened. He turned to Hermann desperately, who was carefully studying the scratches on the floor.

“Hermann,” he said, voice rising in pitch, “Hermann, it wasn’t me! I promise- you have to believe me!”

Newt reached out to the space in the back of his mind, the one that had remained cold and empty for ten long years. He grasped at it, pleading- begging the connection to reignite. But it was no use. The space refused to yield, like a steel door in his face.

Hermann looked away, brow creasing as his face was hidden in shadow. “Newton,” he said quietly, voice trailing off as he searched for something to say.

With horror, Newt felt a tear roll down his cheek. His chest ached as he stared at Hermann with wide, limpid eyes, breath caught in his throat. A moment before, his head had been swimming with words, but every last one had disappeared. All Newt could do was stand there, limbs a stiff skeleton, feeling fat tears crest over his eyes and down his face.

He clenched his jaw, fighting back a gutteral sob, and balled his hands in fists at his sides. “Fine,” he spat, eyebrows knitting into a deep “v”. “Whatever. Blame me. I don’t care.”

Newt spun around on his heel, storming out of LOCCENT with his head bowed to hide the anguish on his face. He strained to hear something- anything from his friends, but no one called out to him as his footsteps echoed in the empty silence.

\------------------------------------------

The sharp noises of battle blasted through the comms, the clank of Jaeger metal on Kaiju filling the room. Something crackled through Lady Avenger’s comm’s system, and the LOCCENT techs scrambled to clean up the sound. 

“Jake,” Tendo barked, “you’re coming through shaky. Can I get that again?”

“-here!” came Jake’s voice through the speakers. “It wasn’t a rogue who let the Kaiju back in! It was someone on our side!”

Tendo’s voice took on a heavy tone. “We know, Jake. It was Geiszler. He hasn’t been seen for a while.”

“No!” Jake shouted. “He’s with the private sector! The traitor was someone inside the PPDC!”

The noise in the room dropped like a stone. Everyone turned to stare at Tendo, who gripped the desk with white knuckles. He looked blankly at the comms for a moment, before turning to Hermann.

“Gottlieb,” he said hoarsely, “where the hell is Newt?”

Hermann dug his fingers into his cane. “I- I don’t know,” he said. “It’s been hours since I’ve seen Newton-”

“Not that,” Tendo replied, aggravated, “you two drifted, right? Use that link! Find him! Stop twiddling your thumbs and get us our biologist!”

“Our connection hasn’t been active in years!” he shot back defensively. “We drifted ten years ago- you cannot expect me to feel him now.”

Mako turned to him. “Dr. Gottlieb. Raleigh and I have not drifted since the end of the first war, but our bond is still stronger than ever. The Drift doesn’t just fade away when you longer have need of it. It stays with you, for as long as the both of you live.” Despite the situation, she smiled. “You and Dr. Geiszler have one of the strongest connections I’ve seen. You can find him. I’m sure of it.”

Hermann gave her a look of uncertainty, but nodded. He closed his eyes and reached out, lowering the mental walls he had put up to keep Newton out of his head. A cold, wet sensation of fear washed over him. The tendrils of connection swirled through his mind like sand in a strong breeze, bright blue and glowing in the darkness. They curled around the twisting strands of Hermann’s mind, forming soft purple connections where the two met. 

Newton’s mind seeped into his, showing Hermann his doubt, his fear, his aching _longing_ for connection in their years apart. He felt betrayed by Hermann’s silence earlier, like one of is limbs had up and left. Newton was frightened and desperate, but not only of the others. He was scared… of himself.

Hermann’s eyes flew open. Warm certainty trickled into his stomach as he turned to Mako.

“It’s Newton,” he said. “I know where he is.”

\------------------------------------------

Newt swung his legs back and forth as they dangled off the pier. The rock in his hand felt cold and smooth, plucked from the walkway leading up to the water. He palmed it thoughtlessly, turning it over in his fingers.

The water lapped against the poles below him, spray flying up onto his feet. A sharp wind stung his face as he stared down at the ocean. Nothing moved beneath the waves… yet.

As soon as he’d left the planning room, Newt had realized the gravity of the situation. His mental link with the Kaiju hivemind was once again a liability, and this time there was no one to protect him. As long as the portal was open and he was around the Shatterdome, his friends were in danger. Even if they didn’t trust him, he wasn’t going to let them die.

He’d really preferred not to make it anyone’s problem, so he had quietly slipped away to the ocean. No one had tried to stop him, which Newt supposed was a blessing considering his new status as a person of interest. The worst part was, he couldn’t really bring himself to care.

He had wandered the city, looking for a waterfront that was abandoned. Oddly enough, it had taken a while. People had come out of their homes in droves to spend their last few moments together, and every part of the city was crowded. Eventually he had found a place that was quiet, and sat down to wait. It had been an hour, and still no Kaiju had appeared to swallow him.

Tears stung in Newt’s eyes, but he swallowed hard, thinking about Chuck and Pentecost at the bottom of the ocean, and how the jaeger pilots risked their lives every mission to keep the world safe. Newt Geiszler would not die crying like some scared kid.

Newt pulled back his arm and flung the rock into the ocean, hearing it splash into the moonlit water. He screamed out into the distance, “Hey! _Hey!_ Come and get me you big, ugly lizards.”

He grabbed another rock from the pile and threw it into the water, letting out a tightly wound yell. It echoed across the water, bouncing off the waves and sounding pitiful even to his own ears. As the noise faded out, he heard footsteps behind him, sound swallowed by the rotting wood.

Someone was silhouetted at the other end of the pier, but it was too dark to see who. More than likely a curious local, come to see who the human trash can fire yelling at the open ocean was. Newt swallowed back the tightness in his throat. “Look, dude, you’re really not gonna want to be here in a second-”

“Newton.”

Newt spun around, shocked to see Hermann walking towards him, his cane thumping softly on the wood. He scrambled to his feet, dropping the rock in his hand.

“Hermann, what- what are you doing here? How did you find me?”

Hermann’s face was expressionless. “I reopened the link. You weren’t exactly difficult to find.”

“The link?” Newt exclaimed. “But- nevermind, you can’t be here! The Kaiju’ll come any minute, you’ve got to get out of here!”

“Newton-” Hermann tried, but Newt waved his hand frantically.

“Hermann, there’s nothing you can do, okay- you have to go! I know you don’t believe me, but I didn’t do it, and any time I’m around you guys, you’re in danger!”

“Newton.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry I left you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you why, and I’m sorry for making you think it was your fault. It wasn’t, okay, it was me! It was all me. I was scared of what you saw in the Drift and how I felt about you, and when you never wanted to talk about it, I just assumed that you hated me!”

“Newton!”

“And you’re right to- you’re _super_ right to. I mean,” he laughed, “I’m a fucking mess! Everyone thinks I’m some crazy mad scientist whose one step away from a breakdown, and I am! Things have been awful since you were gone- I can’t focus, and no one will talk to me, and I’m off my meds, and I’m so pathetically _useless_ that I just-”

“ _Newt!_ ”

Newt froze at the use of his nickname, staring at Hermann with wide eyes. Thankful for the sudden silence, Hermann took a deep breath.

“You were telling the truth. We discovered that the traitor was someone inside the PPDC, not an outside source. I- _we_ believe you.”

Newt barely seemed to breathe. “You do?”

“Newton,” he said, stepping forward, “I am sorry. I should have known you would never do something like this. You are an insufferable Kaiju groupie, yes, but a good man and a good…” he paused, uncertain, but nodded, “friend.”

Newt moved closer, almost unbelieving. “So… you forgive me?”

Hermann smiled. “Well, with worldwide destruction a certain alternative...do I really have a choice?”

Newt’s face burst into a radiant grin and he surged forward, flinging his arms around Hermann and pulling him into a crushing hug. Hermann froze, sputtering for a moment, before relenting and awkwardly patting Newt’s back.

“God, I missed you so much,” Newt whispered, resting his head on Hermann’s chest. The space where Newt was pressed against him felt like it was on fire. Every point of contact was like an old connection tying itself back together, the familiarity warm and comforting. This was Newton: safe and bright; a lighthouse in the storm of a war that had torn everything apart. It felt like uncertainty and new beginnings. It felt like coming home.

Hermann wanted to hold him tightly and never let go, but there were more pressing matters at hand. He pulled away from Newt’s arms, letting their fingers brush together as he looked towards the shore. 

“Come along Newton,” he smiled. “We have another world to save.”


End file.
